Today I will start my blog by stating an observation. I was talking to my father and he asked me that when was I going to get my next long stint of holidays. For the latecomers, let me first initiate them into this. In my profession I enjoy one luxury of which my friends in other professions are always jealous of. I AS A TEACHER ENJOY THREE LONG STINTS OF HOLIDAYS. The famous summer vacation of about a month and half, short puja holidays of about ten days and Christmas vacation of about three weeks. This is in addition to the normal festivals and weekends.
Many of you might feel that it is a good reason enough to kick your own professions and jump into teaching. Please don’t get misguided and don’t form your own conclusions. If you would have noticed above, it is the only luxury which as a teacher I enjoy. (Education policy in our country changes with every new government coming to the power. You will be fed up of the quixotic ideas, which teachers in our country are forced to follow in the name of imparting education. But I will hold the lava inside for some other time.) Deviating from the topic is becoming quite regular in my mannerisms.
Coming back to the point, his question surprised me. He knows very well that my next long stint of holidays will be in the month of October during the pujas. I reminded him so. He told that it’s been long time since we had last met and he wanted me to come to his place for few days. (We live in different towns.)
Long after disconnecting, this thing went on spiraling in my mind. Not even a month had passed, since I had returned from my father’s place. I had spent ten days with him. Clearly it was not enough. I understood very well that he remained unsatisfied and wanted me to stay for few more days with him. Even I felt I should have stayed longer. But I had my own obligations to cover and he understood them very well.
I was perplexed a bit. His question was very personal. It was from a father to a son. I realized, in last ten years, I had not spent more than two hundred days with him. If I consider my personal interaction with him in hours, it will be a quite shameful revelation. Pulling the strings of my life itself consumes so much of energy that I am hardly left with any time to spend with my family. And how much ever I try; my professional bindings prohibit me from fulfilling his and my desire.
A cycle of generations evolved in my mind. Parents spend their lives trying to establish their children. Their children become their universe and all their efforts revolve around them. They pay a heavy price for these efforts. Their youth is wasted in acquiring and saving the materialistic aspects of life. Among the entire hullabaloo, they hardly get time to spend with their children. In the process, they sacrifice their own wants and desires.
On the other side children spend their entire childhood in studying and playing with their friends. Many times they start feeling more comfortable with their friends than with their own parents. I notice that the relation is getting reduced to that of an investor and a product.
As children grow up and settle, their lives are totally different from what had been planned and executed meticulously for them. (Only thing that is certain in life; is its uncertainty.) So ultimately parents spend their old age safeguarding the assets and the clinging continues till their last breath. Meanwhile children fall into the same cycle and start planning for their next generation. And this goes on.
So friends, please don’t repeat the cycle of generations again. If you are a parent then don’t forget to live your own life. Remember once children go out of their homes for career building, they are never going to come back and stay with you. Their career will always be at the same pole as yours in a magnet. How much ever you try to pull them towards you, they will always be repelled. They will have to settle at a place which is more suitable for their career, not at the place where you have safeguarded a castle for them.
And if you are a son or a daughter then remember your parents are not going to stay with you forever. With every day you pass in your life, your parents’ inch towards their own termination.
It’s very important for you to understand that compromising on the time spent with your loved ones is a bigger loss than anything else. So spend time together, the bonding is going to be stronger. And repentance will never set in.
(My personal opinion as always.)