Few days back, I was talking to one of my colleagues and I got reminded of an incident which really shaped my way of thinking. Today I feel that unconsciously it is that experience which affects my day to day interaction with anybody in my life. I would certainly like to share that experience with you.
Way back in 1994, I got a chance to visit ISKCON temple in Bangalore. When you are young, you hardly understand the significance of spiritualism and presence of GOD in life. So the idea of visiting the temple for any sort of divine experience was farfetched. It was just a kind of sightseeing trip for me.
After the darshan, I was feeling exhausted and wanted to sit down for a while. Suddenly something caught my attention. I saw a group of people entering into a hall. Feeling curious, I went behind them. Something unexpected met my eyes. I saw a young girl crying in front of a priest. The priest was sitting on a large sofa, with a table in front of him. The girl might have been in her early teens and was crying profusely. She was surrounded by her family and a few onlookers. I went and joined the group to satisfy my curiosity. The priest was very jovial and friendly in nature. He saw and gave me a smile.
What I could gather was that the girl had just survived a suicide attempt. She had tried to end her life by taking a heavy dose of sleeping pills. Her parents had brought her here for some kind of expert counselling. I was bemused by the idea of counselling by a priest of a temple. I looked at his credentials engraved on a piece of metal plate kept on the table. He was an American citizen and was a former CEO of a high profile company. His looks bracketed his age in early forties. To my utter surprise, the man knew 7 foreign and 6 Indian languages.
Feeling impressed, I started listening to their conversation. Within minutes, he was able to comfort the girl with his friendly interaction. Failed love affair was the reason for the girl’s suicide attempt. (It is impossible for me to recount his exact words. But I will try to tell you the essence of it. It was in the course of conversation with the girl. Words are mine but the idea is genuinely his)
“Child, love is the best feeling, a human can ever possess. And when the same person loves you back, it becomes the biggest unsolved mystery for science. It is purely a divine phenomenon. Your falling in love was an involuntary phenomenon and coming out of it will also be the same.
Unlike joy, sadness doesn’t need a reason. Celebration is an effect and it requires a cause. But gloom sets on a human mind, without any reason. If we look at life from a different perspective, we see that nothing is in our control. Neither the actions and nor the reactions. Remember these actions and reactions are generated in our mind. They are highly mental in nature and we don’t have any control on the thoughts which cause them.
Then where does the good and the bad enter into our lives. As the most developed specie on this planet it becomes our responsibility to check and judge these actions and reactions before executing them physically.
Before moving ahead let me make you understand the concept of the good and the bad. What is good and what is bad. I will define bad, then the good automatically gets defined.
Bad is basically an action or a reaction which satisfies the following criteria:
- It always generates a sense of guilt and hiding.
- Bad and sad are synonymous. Momentarily a bad action can give you happiness for some time, but ultimately its effect will make you sad.
- Bad is never ‘individual’, it is always ‘social’. It affects you as well as the others, who are around you or are connected to you.
So what makes an action bad? It is the timing. Timing of an action determines whether it is good or bad. An appropriate action at an appropriate time will justify its execution. Otherwise it fails to stand for its own cause.
My dear child, you cannot control your emotions. Falling in love was an involuntary action. So what makes its wrong? It is the timing. At this stage, you are neither mentally nor physically or socially ready for this action. So wait for the correct time. It will be the time when you have gained more decision making capabilities, and when you have achieved the ability to sustain the added responsibilities of a relation.
Right now, you don’t have any right to end your own life. You simply cannot nullify the labour and the troubles undertaken by your parents, in raising you up. Their aspirations need to be answered. And most importantly you still have to justify your own birth as a human being. You are born with a purpose and that purpose has to be achieved. Today, IF YOU DIE, THEN HOW MANY WILL CRY?
It will only be a handful of people, who are related to you. Have you affected any other life, which will miss your presence after your death? If not, then my dear child your goal is still far away. Before taking up such actions, first contemplate on this factor. At least, try to affect one life in a positive way, so that you are remembered as an individual self.
Think for a week and give me an answer to this question. WHEN YOU DIE, HOW MANY WILL CRY?”
After some time the priest signaled the mother to take the child away, and told the father to get her back after a week. The girl seemed to be relaxed but it was evident that she was thinking something about the question she had heard from the priest. The crowd dispersed and I looked into his eyes before turning back to move away. He simply smiled and said, “Keep visiting”.
Sadly, I never got a chance to visit the place again. And I really don’t know the outcome of his counselling sessions with the girl. But this question kept on reverberating in my mind again and again. “WHEN YOU DIE, HOW MANY WILL CRY?”
So, friends I have recounted this incident for all those people who feel depressed and are unable to come in touch with reality. Feeling happy or sad is not in our control.
It is also for the young minds, which literally jump into forming relationships without weighing its pros and cons.
Think about it. Judge your actions and reactions on the stated parameters. Make your life fruitful for others. Please walk the extra mile. And try to answer this question. “WHEN YOU DIE, HOW MANY WILL CRY?”
( I am racing against time, to release the forth episode of SAMYANTAK. February 2018, was very hectic with other job commitments lined up. Sorry for the delay. I will try to complete the episode within this week.)